My husband is a bad boy, he used to love him, but now he drives me crazy

I find that as we get older, the things that initially attracted us to other people can sometimes change. For example, when I was younger, I valued the money and material possessions of my friends and the people I wanted to date. If a boy had a good car, that added a few more points to me. I didn’t consider that the guy’s father could have bought him that car and did nothing to earn it. I never considered what this might have said about someone’s character. Today, I don’t care what kind of car someone drives. I am more concerned with his financial responsibility and character.

The same can happen with bad guys. Many young women like them and chase them. I think the reason for this is, in part, that young women are exposed to this as “cool” with movie stars and rock stars. As a result, they sometimes turn a blind eye to that geeky but so sweet boy in his art class for the guy in the leather jacket who doesn’t even show up to class. And it’s one thing to do this in high school and then let it grow. But what if you marry a bad boy and he never grows up? Well, sometimes it takes honesty and adaptation.

A wife could tell a story like this. “When I met my husband, he had his hair down his back and he was riding a motorcycle. He was older than me, so he never went to my high school. We met when he came to the restaurant where I worked. My parents didn’t.” I liked it from the beginning. They felt that he was very irresponsible, that he would never grow up and that he would never come to anything. Somehow, his concerns were justified. We ended up getting married because I got pregnant. Looking back now, I realize that I was a little happy about the pregnancy because I knew that this was probably the only way to get him to marry me. He was not the type of man to tie up. Today his hair is shorter, but he still prefers leather jackets and would still be what you would consider a bad boy. He still smokes and occasionally drinks. He takes nothing from anyone and rarely commits. He works when he wants because he owns his own. business, but he’s content with just getting by. He is not a great communicator. I’d say a better father than anyone else gives you credit for, but he’s not always the best husband. It’s not too sweet, except when it rarely surprises me. He still has dangerous hobbies like motorcycle riding. He never wants to talk about finances, the future, or other things that show responsibility. Some of my co-workers have paid for their houses and are considering second homes as an investment to increase wealth. My husband would never do this. It took me years to convince him to buy instead of rent. He is a type of person who flies by the seat of your pants, whereas I see that as acting like a child. Sometimes when I look at him and rely solely on his looks and our chemistry, my heart beats a little faster. And other times when we discuss everyday tasks that adults have to think about, I feel nothing but frustration towards him. I’m starting to think that marrying a bad boy was a huge mistake. I’m starting to think that bad boys will never make good husbands. “

I understand where you come from. When he was in high school and college, he also loved bad boys. I think that is common among some teenagers. However, today I would not classify my husband as such. Or maybe I would classify it as refurbished. And I can tell you that no marriage, no partner, is perfect, no matter what kinds of personalities you were dealing with in high school. Even that geeky kid in art class I was talking about above probably had his flaws. I can also tell you that the bad boy who used to drive me crazy in his muscle car now drives a mini van and is crazy about his kids and his wife (a woman I went to school with too). thinking sometimes, but he adores his family and would do anything for them. The point I’m trying to make is that I believe that all people are capable of change when faced with adult responsibilities. I was much more superficial and indifferent when I was young. Today, I cringe at some of the things I said and did. Some of my past behaviors embarrass me today. But I can’t change that. I can only try to be better today.

Along the same lines, I suspect that your husband has grown as a person in some areas. And I also suspect that, with a little work, you can change in other necessary areas if doing so would benefit your family. The first step is to make him aware of the need to do so.

But before you do this, you need to prioritize what you want to change. If you simply throw all your complaints at him, it will appear that you are only criticizing. Perhaps your smoking could be your first course in business because it jeopardizes your future. If you get sick from smoking, you may not be able to be as present for your children. Approach him about the most important things first, one at a time, and tell him how much you love him and want him to be with you as long as possible. Tell him that you are having the courage to say this because you want him to be around for a long time.

Be careful not to attempt a full review of it. You don’t want to erase the edge that made you madly in love with him in the first place. You don’t want to change the core of who he is. He just wants me to make some of the commitments that adults and family men have to make.

However, to address one of the initial questions, it is my opinion that ex-bad boys can make good husbands, especially those who are willing to adjust their habits for the benefit of their families. I’m not proud of all aspects of my old self, but most of my selfish behavior disappeared when I had other people that I had to think about. I find this to be true in many cases; You may need to gently draw their attention to this.