the unconscious mentor

You may ask, “What is an Unknown Mentor and what am I looking for in an Unknown Mentor?” Let’s start by explaining the concept of mentoring. Some companies use formal mentoring programs that pair less experienced employees (trainees) with more experienced employees (mentors) in order to share knowledge. Mentors provide trainees with coaching, tips and advice on things to consider in their work, ways to grow a career, etc. from the perspective of someone who has been there/done that. Mentors are usually not the mentee’s supervisors, because supervisors must maintain the same interest in responsibility as everyone on their team. If a supervisor spent more time training/developing one particular individual over another, the rest of the team could interpret it as favoritism. This could harm the team’s ability to work together.

The intent of a mentoring relationship is to provide the mentee with someone to help them move forward throughout their career continuum and to be a sounding board for any questions, frustrations, or successes the mentee may have. The concept of an Unknown Mentor works a little differently than a typical mentoring relationship because the “Unknown Mentor” does not know that he is mentoring you! You could set up a meeting with them and let them know that you’re glad they’re mentoring you and want to get to know them better. But I don’t advise that. Your Unknown Mentor will not have a formal role in your development, but will make a significant contribution. Being able to observe them and how they behave in the environment will give you a wealth of information to consider and use as you see fit.

I started using this method very early in my career and was able to choose various behaviors and skills from my Unknowing Mentors that helped me create my own personal style. A person I used to work with always had managers and supervisors in his office talking about various things. I was wondering, “How can I build the same relationship with people?” What I observed was that he was a good listener. When someone presented him with a problem, he didn’t solve it (although he could easily have), but instead asked for background on the problem. How did you get here? What led to this? What else has been done? The person with the problem spoke, and as he spoke, my Unknown Mentor asked more questions. The person would begin to see that there were some options out there. They just needed someone to help them figure it out, and my Unknown Mentor did that by listening and asking questions.

Another Unknowing Mentor taught me how to deal with executives in an effective yet respectful manner (which can be difficult from time to time). This same mentor also had a practice of owning a person’s problem until it was resolved. When a request needed to be passed on to someone else, he always told the requester to come back to her if he didn’t get a follow-up within a reasonable time. She would continue to pursue the matter until the person was satisfied. Both individuals were viewed as highly competent within our organization, motivated by the right things, and fit into the company culture. I have been able to take his lessons, adapt them to my own style, and grow professionally a little faster than if I had had to learn those lessons on my own.

Now that we have defined the Unknown Mentor, where do we find one? Hopefully, you’ll be able to find one or two potential candidates within your work group using the process I’m about to describe. My process identifies people who have habits and behaviors worth modeling that can lead to success in a career. I should point out that my definition of success is not acquiring power, prestige, and money, but rather being a well-rounded, contributing, and growing employee.

Over the years, I have started to evaluate people based on three different factors. I like these factors because they are blind to any demographic indicators (race, gender, etc.) and can be measured by simple observation. I’m sharing this because, once explained, I feel like it’s a tool you can use to assess potential candidates for the role of your “Unconscious Mentor.” What you want to find in your work group/team/department, etc. is a person who demonstrates the positive aspects of each of the three areas that I am going to explain.

The factors I use to evaluate people are:

1. How well they do what they do (Competition)

2. Why they do what they do (Motivation)

3. How well do you fit into your employer’s culture (Culture Fit)

I define each of these in the following ways:

Competence: This is the easiest of the three to define because it describes someone who is technically good at what they do. There will usually be someone who, by reputation, is the “best” or one of the “best.” It might be the customer service rep who consistently receives high customer satisfaction numbers, the sales rep who consistently meets or exceeds their goals, or the staff member who handles issues quickly and efficiently. In other words, the person knows what he is doing and has a reputation for excellence. You can determine who meets this requirement through conversations with your manager, your peers, or others within the group.

The opinions of your boss and co-workers are equally important to your observations of this factor. Some people may SEEM like they know what they’re doing, but they don’t follow up on the results or the results they provide are inaccurate. A friend of mine used the term “white sneakers” to describe an employee who looked good but couldn’t play. If you’ve ever noticed someone who is dressed in the latest outfit on the ski slope, beach or tennis court but looks totally lost when trying to ski, surf or play tennis, you know what I’m talking about. Your boss and your co-workers will have a very strong opinion of someone like that. Any employee who talks a good game but doesn’t deliver results negatively impacts everyone and usually has a reputation as such.

Motivation: Aside from talking to the person to find out why they are doing what they are doing, you need to start relying on your judgment for this factor. Motivated, we are looking for someone with a work motivation based on an understanding of responsibility and a desire to deliver what they are supposed to do. The best coworkers I’ve ever had were the ones who understood that they had certain responsibilities and carried them out because people depended on them, or because they held themselves to a very high level of performance. These people put a bit of themselves into their work, not because their work defined who they were, but because they knew that everything they did reflected back on them. They wanted to show off their capabilities. If they couldn’t deliver what was promised, they made sure you acknowledged it and that whoever could do the job took care of your needs.

The people who don’t meet this factor are the ones who simply come to work because they need the paycheck and will likely stay until something else happens (layoff, termination, death, the lottery, etc.). They are not really interested in whether or not you get what you need or get answers to other questions. If they’re late with something you need, they’re late. If you don’t like what you got from them or what they did for you? I weighed. They just work here.

You won’t gain anything by watching these people.

Fitting into the Culture – This is one that you will definitely have to gather from observation and it may take a while to figure out who fits into the culture. But people who fit into the culture you work in have some of the best information Unknowing Mentors has to offer on how to survive in your current environment. Company cultures are defined by people, and since all people are naturally very different, some thrive in certain cultures and some don’t. The people you see growing within a company are the ones who have responded well to the company culture, whatever it may be. Cultures tend to replicate because if one type of person does well in a culture, and that culture is made up of people like them, they tend to attract other people like themselves into the culture, and so on. This can be both good and bad.

People with successful behaviors can attract people with successful behaviors, and conversely, people with unsuccessful behaviors can attract people with unsuccessful behaviors. You’ve probably heard about “culture change” and how it’s VERY difficult…almost impossible. Cultural change is difficult because there are usually a small number of people trying to convince a large number of people to change the way they think and act. It is not easy because most of them liked the way things were and now this small group of voices asks them to change. Without a compelling reason to change, people often like to stay the way they are.

As stated, all companies have their own cultures. If someone has been with the company for a while and has risen through the ranks and/or is seen as successful, they are likely to display behaviors that are consistent with the company as a whole. For example, if the company has a culture that wants action and the individual seems to be always on the go and in the middle of things, that would probably be a good cultural match. However, if the culture values ​​hierarchy, respect for levels and titles, and the individual appears to have fostered respectful relationships with those at higher levels and knows how to manage those relationships, they fit well into the culture.

People who don’t fit the culture will stand out to you. Someone who may not fit in always seems to disagree with people, either through their words or actions, may not speak favorably about the company and/or their role in it, or behave in a way that does not seem consistent with the general environment. An example of the latter might be someone with a loud and boisterous communication style who works at a company that is relatively low-key and polite in their interactions.

Based on this brief explanation, I hope you understand how an Unknown Mentor could be beneficial and how you can find one. You can have many unknown mentors throughout your career – there is no limit and you can find them as an easy way to expand your own capabilities with minimal effort. It’s definitely a subjective decision on who you choose to be your Unknown Mentor, but the good news is that you don’t mind giving it a try. Nobody will ever know. If you follow the guidelines above, you may be pleasantly surprised at what you learn.

Extract from Get off campus and go to work

by T. Jason Smith

ISBN 0-9777237-6-3

Aspen Mountain Post

Release date April 12, 2006