When do you know who is your soulmate?
Imagine finding that special love in your life with a partner who totally captivates you, who loves you unconditionally and with whom you feel completely protected and safe. This is the most that can happen in a relationship. Being indescribably drawn to a person with feelings of admiration, respect, and attraction is what I describe as a soulmate. I am truly a romantic and I believe completely in soul mates. I believe that there is a perfect man out there, somewhere, just preparing to finally find the woman of his dreams, to find his soul mate, to finally find me. No one is perfect, but I am hopeful that there is a perfect person for me.
Deep down in my soul, I feel a certain affinity for a special person whom I have known and loved for the past eighteen years. Through your marriage and through my marriage, I have only been truly in love and romantically connected with one person. However, what happens when your true love is unattainable or unavailable? Does that mean he’s not my true soulmate? So I am forced to reflect, what is the difference between finding a soul mate, being in love, and having rampant hormones?
You’ve heard a friend, a family member, even yourself, say those three words: “I’m in love.” You feel butterflies in your stomach and you go crazy for that special someone. They spend time together getting to know each other. Your date. One thing leads to another and then you get serious. After a while, you might hear from the same person or find yourself saying something like, “I can’t believe I ever fell in love with that person.” Other times couples get married and after a period of time, they also say, “I can’t believe I ever fell in love with that person and married her.” People fall in love all the time. They start off crazy in relationships and get married. Then the inevitable happens. The fallacy of falling in love is that more times than other people you fall out of love. With your life partner, you stay connected at all times.
You are at a party and across the room, your eyes are staring at the person you can’t stop smiling at. You have that shivering feeling all over your body and the feeling that you want to meet this person right away. The physical attraction that you instantly gain for this person sends hormones throughout your body. You want this person. You must have this person. His eyes meet yours and you find yourself involved in a conversation that attracts your sexual juices. One thing leads to another and you find yourself sexually active with this person. The next day, weeks or months later, physical attraction and desires diminish. You no longer see this person in the same way as before. They may remain friends or they may both go their separate ways. With your true love, the desire and attraction never dissipate.
You have experienced being in love, then you have fallen in love. You even had a relationship or two with someone you needed to be intimate with. But they weren’t your soul mate. Does everyone have a life partner? How do you know when it is your soulmate? The quick answer is yes, everyone has that special someone and when they show up, you will definitely know. I knew right away that Rory was my special person and 18 years later, our friendship, love, understanding and communication are in sync.
At a roundtable on soulmates, several questions were raised. One question that fed the cheerful and diverse group of men and women was who (various people in our lives) can be a soul mate? Most of the group’s knowledge on this topic was limited solely to a romantic interest. However, David, in his 30s, was very detailed and expressive when speaking of that strong connection between two people. He was one of the few who believes that you can only have one true partner, but he also believes that you can have a best friend, spouse, business partner, or family member that suits the role of a soulmate. He also believes that you will immediately meet that special someone the moment you meet. David admitted that he is in a romantic relationship with who he knows is his true love. So can a soulmate be a best friend, a romantic interest, or someone or something else? One definition of a soulmate is “A soulmate is a person with whom you have a deep or natural feeling of affinity. This may imply similarity, love, romance, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust.” Dark in definition, I have discovered that I have two soul mates, a best friend, Tara, and a romantic partner, Rory. With each one, I have a connection of unconditional love and understanding that has been maintained over time, Tara for over 25 years and Rory for over 18 years.
On the other hand, several people in the group expressed that the soulmate connotation is incredible and unattainable. Sadly, many people don’t believe in the lifelong connection to that special someone, but they believe that people place themselves in our lives for a reason or a season as evidence revealed in our discussion. Garrison commented that he has had connections with people from time to time, but those feelings faded over time. He and Marie agreed that relationships, of all kinds, transform and that people are innately critical, combative, and change over time. Like Garrison and Marie, many people will never know or experience the serenity and comfort of their soul mate. From experience, I have concluded distinctive qualities to know when you have met your soulmate. The qualities are that you are trustworthy and trustworthy, respectful, you feel a connection, there is unconditional love, they do not judge, you can be your true self with your soulmate, the communication between you is incredible, there is an element of clairvoyance and finally serendipity.
One of the best experiences in life is having a soul mate. With all the distractions that life brings, it is much easier to experience obstacles when I have someone nice, someone who grabs me, and someone who is easy to talk to. Oh, I have two!