Why do good girls like bad boys?
Almost every woman at some point in her love life will fall for a bad boy. From gangsters to thugs, from OG to Mac in training, they all have one thing in common: they play the game of love with their own set of rules, and if you break the rules, you will end up heartbroken. What is a bad boy? He is a bully, a bully and a rebel without a cause. Or he could be the nice boy next door who is smooth as silk, but deep down he is a cold-hearted scoundrel. Bad boys are the kind of guys your mom warns you about, but because they have thug appeal, you throw common sense out the window and caution to the wind.
The thing to keep in mind when dealing with a bad boy is that most of them see women as conquests, something to be captured and conquered. And when the excitement ends, so does the relationship. Although many of you know this, some of you go after the bully hoping to be the one to change it. In the end you are left feeling hurt and betrayed. And you know when you have a guy who’s not acting right because you’re probably quick to tell your friends what to do the second his boyfriends start acting up. But sometimes it’s easier to tell others what to do than to do what you know is right.
I know firsthand what it’s like to be captivated by a bad boy, because until I learned how to make healthier relationship decisions, I was addicted to bad boys. I wouldn’t even look at a guy unless he was a bully with a bad attitude.
But years of emotional rollercoaster rides, baby momma drama, and being silly made me wake up and smell dysfunction. As a result, I developed some common sense strategies that helped me break my bad boy habit. I share them in a spirit of brotherhood, hoping that they will also help you.
Why do girls like bad boys?
If you ask most women why they like bad boys, they’ll say the challenge, the thrill, or the thrill of living vicariously. But often, what starts out as a thrilling high-speed adventure ends up becoming an emotionally draining cliffhanger. Bad boys offer a double dose of pain and pleasure. When they’re bad, they’re horrible, but when they’re good, they make you feel like you just won the lottery. These are the most common reasons why women like bad boys.
secret fear of intimacy
If you’re attracted to guys you really can’t have, because they don’t want a real relationship or because they’re involved with someone else, you may have a secret fear of intimacy. The reason you can find a bad boy so attractive is because you can be with him without letting him get too close. As long as he is not available, he can never get close enough to hurt you.
A subconscious desire to bring dad back home
As you already know, the relationship you had with your father shapes the relationships you will have with other men. If he grew up without a father or if he was emotionally unavailable, he may be involved with men who act like his father. Although you risk getting hurt by being with a bad boy. You may hope that if you stick around long enough, he will eventually give you the love you didn’t get back home.
Low self-esteem
When you feel good about yourself, you set high standards in every area of your life, including your romantic relationships. If you’re in a relationship with a guy who lies, cheats, talks bad about you, or mistreats you in any way, then regardless of what you want others to believe, you don’t feel good about yourself. When you value who you are, you treat yourself with great consideration and demand that others do the same. Know that you are worthy of being treated with kindness and respect.
Media brainwashing
If you’ve ever seen an episode of Jerry Springer or the latest music videos, you can see how the media presents the image of the bad boy as every girl’s dream. Popular television and music videos try to make you believe that it is acceptable for men to disrespect women and reduce them to sexual objects. Think of Jay Z’s “Big Pimpin'” video or Lox’s “Need a Ride or Die Chick” and you can see how the media promotes the image of the bad boy as the ideal. You don’t have to buy everything the media feeds you. You can make your own decision regarding what is attractive and acceptable. There is no good reason to stay in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t appreciate or respect you.
Copyright © 2000 by Cassandra Mack