Do you walk the walk or just talk the talk?
No doubt we have all had experience with people who ‘know it all’, who claim to be skilled and competent in many areas, who are thorough, eager to participate, and who make very impressive claims about their experience and abilities, but then repeatedly fail. to fulfill what he promised. Or those who are constantly bragging, full of great ideas and plans about where they’re going, what they’re doing, it all sounds very exciting and satisfying. However, they never happen.
Are these people fantasy or liars, are they lazy and incapable of exerting themselves? Or are they overwhelmed by what they have shouted from the rooftops, but then unable to follow the path due to their lack of skill, hiding behind a thin cloak of bravado as they fear the truth will be revealed?
Sometimes it’s okay to hear someone else’s fantastic claims. Being an audience for their perpetual bragging and protests can be galling, but we can shrug it off. It can be fun if it doesn’t affect us unduly. Even so, their behavior is likely to influence any future decisions we may make about trusting them or recommending them to others.
It’s quite a different matter if we need them to fulfill a promise, make a presentation to a key contact, or undertake an important professional service or social arrangement that then regularly fails to materialize. Or if we are involving others, it can become a serious matter, as any disappointment reflects badly on us, leading to disappointment and an unprofessional appearance.
Why do people sometimes talk just to talk but don’t walk on the road?
– Not being able or unprepared to walk the walk is a sadly familiar occurrence, though no one initially sets out to be untrustworthy, unprofessional, or flaky. Do they speak impulsively, without thinking about how complex and complicated things are, or do they anticipate being clever and skilled enough to figure things out? Or were they genuinely excited at the time of the offer, wanting to impress others, which later resulted in fantastic claims and protests? It is when the time comes to walk the path, that problems can arise.
– Some people cannot help themselves; They crave attention and seek the admiration of others, so they make claims and offers without thinking about what it implies. Behavior that can be tolerated in a young person is much less acceptable in an older person when we trust them to comply.
How to deal with these situations?
– call people because their false claims and lies may seem unnecessarily cruel to viewers, who may view them with amusement or affection. Sometimes a little humor and affectionate banter from us can help defuse a situation and allow it to become less annoying. Ultimately though, there may come a time when walking away from that relationship becomes the only effective course of action. But that’s not always possible in a work or social situation, and sometimes a laugh, a cough, or a raised eyebrow at the right moment can be enough to make a point.
– At other times, a soft, gentle approach. may be the best way to get results. Instead of asking a company, ‘Are we still good for Tuesday?’ which can be embarrassing and leaves little room for honestly disclosing any issues, a more subtle, ‘how’s it going’, ‘where are you’, ‘let’s catch up over coffee’ might be a more subtle way to sidestep excuses and hopefully intercept potential disappointments.
– Demonstrate active listening. and repeat what was agreed, saying ‘let’s confirm our plans, let’s clarify what has been decided’. Maybe I’ll follow up with a confirmation text. But to invest so much time and energy in the relationship it has to be important and sometimes it’s just not worth the effort.
– If significant work is planned It may be good policy to record the details in writing, with standards, proficiency levels and other key specifications clearly defined and agreed. That way, all commitments are official and serious, plus there’s a response if things go wrong.
– Make sure there is a positive outcome for them. also, so that they are motivated to make an effort, improve and fulfill what was promised. Sometimes people who talk for the sake of talking get nothing more than their audience, with no tangible rewards. Dangling the carrot of a future contract, an introduction to other job opportunities, a reward, praise, something they really care about can heighten their desire and determination to get ahead.
If his boasting and self-importance have little impact on your life other than being an irritation, you can learn to shrug, smile wryly, and ignore it. But if you find that it’s beginning to affect your choices and decisions, causing embarrassment or inconvenience, there may be no alternative but to separate from the relationship and walk away.