Gratitude

Several months ago a friend shared with me a gift that had been an active practice of gratitude for her. Up until that point, she had paid lip service to gratitude, and I certainly felt gratitude myself, but like many people, I did not view gratitude as a primary spiritual teaching tool.

My friend’s experience intrigued me, so I decided to continue with the topic. I read, pondered, corresponded with colleagues, and worked to grow my own gratitude. And ultimately, I was amazed at the result! Practicing gratitude significantly broadened and deepened my spiritual experience. After all these years of study, prayer, and meditation, engaging in an active Gratitude practice took my spiritual work to places I had only hoped! In a nutshell, today I understand that the two most powerful words in the English language are: Practice gratitude. Let me explain:

If I had to ask you what is the most important thing you could do to improve your emotional well-being, improve your health, and actually add nine years to your life, what would you choose? Meditation? Yoga? Diet? Psychotherapy? Meditation is great, and yoga improves your emotional state, but interestingly enough, the one thing you could do to improve everything in your life — your emotional health, your physical well-being, and your life expectancy — would be to switch to a daily gratitude practice. .

An active daily practice of gratitude can literally change your life. It is the most powerful spiritual resource we have. It is unlike anything else we experience. Feeling grateful has a ripple effect on all aspects of life, potentially satisfying some of our deepest longings: happiness, healthier relationships, and inner peace. People are moved, opened, and humbled through experiences and expressions of gratitude. Active participation in the practice of gratitude maximizes the enjoyment of life and significantly reduces the impact of our difficulties. Without gratitude, life can seem lonely, depressing, and impoverished.

Do you want to be more compassionate? Work on gratitude. Do you want more inner peace? Work on gratitude. Do you want more patience? Work on gratitude. Do you want to reduce your stress? Do you want to live longer? Do you want to heal faster? You understand. Gratitude does this by creating new contexts through which we process the events of our lives. And it is our perspective on life that determines our ability to experience gratitude.

Dr. Robert Emmons has studied and researched the subject of gratitude extensively and says in his new book Thank You:

. . . Grateful people experience higher levels of positive emotions such as joy, enthusiasm, love, happiness, and optimism, and the practice of gratitude as a discipline protects the person from the destructive impulses of envy, resentment, greed and bitterness. We have found that a person who feels gratitude is able to cope more effectively with everyday stress, may show greater resilience to trauma-induced stress, may recover more quickly from illness, and benefit from better physical health.[1]

Although there is the feeling of gratitude, gratitude is much more than that. It is a state of being. In essence, gratitude is a deep feeling of appreciation for everything: for the gifts we have been given, for nature and the Earth, for this day, for others, for life, for humanity and also for those who are closer to us. – our parents, partners, children and animal friends. Expressing gratitude creates a feeling of expansion. We reach out and touch other people, nature, God, the Universe. . . Receiving gratitude is also unlike anything else we experience. It melts away the doubt and uncertainty that would otherwise beset us. Calm our bread.

Gratitude is personal. It is focused on us, but not in an egocentric way. It is an expansive feeling of gratitude for all that we have been given and for all the things that we hold dear. Words simply cannot express the greatness of gratitude. It is an essential aspect of God Space. It has been said that “gratitude is the memory of the heart.”

Gratitude helps us heal as we journey toward enlightenment. Because The Universe pushes us to change in its never-ending quest to help us, we all feel a bit battered by the process. It is impossible to go through life without feeling beaten, and that leads us to question our worth. Feeling gratitude gives us a vote of confidence that we really are okay. It connects us both with God’s love for us and with other people’s appreciation for our presence here. It pulls us out of our myopic view of our struggles and reminds us that we are not alone. It reminds us that we are loved. We are left with the feeling that “I guess I’m not such a loser after all”.

Some people have a hard time receiving and expressing gratitude. Their life experiences have left them feeling bruised and beaten, so they must defend themselves from further harm. It can be very difficult to maintain gratitude when you feel vulnerable to the world or to people who bring up painful emotional issues that you would rather avoid.

For these people, life has not been a path of learning, but a wounding process full of difficult and painful experiences. It is understandable that they approach life as victims rather than students, and it is difficult to be grateful or even recognize the learning potential contained in their life experiences.

One of the deepest aspects of gratitude is the feeling of appreciation we have for the many gifts the Creator has given us, but it’s hard to acknowledge those gifts if we feel bruised by His neglect. We fear that the terrible pain of our past may return. After all, we came into the world wide-eyed, vulnerable, and emotionally open, and got hit by a cement truck!

In one of Dr. Emmons’ talks on gratitude, a man stood up and said, “It’s a good thing we humans don’t get what we feel we deserve. Otherwise it would be hard to explain why so many lucky things come up.” . our lives.”

I want to ask you to try something. As you read these words, get in touch with who or what you are not loving right now. Maybe list them. Then take a moment and allow yourself to feel compassion for the other, especially if it’s you. And as you do this, notice the changes that occur in yourself. This is not about them, and this is not about the relationship. It’s about making you feel better about yourself. Those places where you cannot open your heart are vital for your healing.

If you want to experience the power of gratitude, Dr. Emmons and his colleagues have researched the subject in detail and tell us that the best way to develop gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal. In your Journal, record at least five blessings each day and why you are grateful for each one. It’s better if it’s done by hand, by the way. And as you do this, make a conscious association with your blessings as gifts. Become aware of the depth of your gratitude. Journaling every day is essential. Some of the items on your list may come and go and others may never change.

I can’t urge you enough to do your diary. It will change the lens through which you view your life. You’ll feel better, be happier, be more connected to others, improve your relationships, be less depressed, and live longer!

There are a plethora of websites and books urging people to keep gratitude journals, but sadly I haven’t found any that take advantage of what I believe to be gratitude’s greatest asset (and I wouldn’t expect this; it certainly didn’t). : A gentle, yet powerful gratitude practice offers us an awareness of the wounds we carry.

The Gratitude Journal presents an extraordinary opportunity to look at the parts of yourself that, frankly, you’d rather ignore. It brings out your frustrations with life and shows you the beliefs you hold on to that limit your happiness and success. It will also show you where you keep your feelings. You probably won’t bring up the issues themselves, but your reactions will provide important cues that point you toward them.

This will happen through what I will call “The Flip”. As you journal, pay close attention to each thought that comes up. Don’t edit anything. The way it works is that you’ll be writing, perhaps out of gratitude for your work, and suddenly your mind “flips” and BAM! A voice will appear and say something like, “Well, yes, but you could do better!” or “Who could be successful working with those idiots!” Whatever these thoughts are, write them all down and don’t worry if they don’t make sense.

Sometimes these thoughts will be dark. Even the purest of hearts seem not to be above “profanity” when it comes to this part of the process. The conflict over feeling our gratitude, it seems, leads us to where our vile feelings lie. In one of my classes, a woman wrote about her sincere gratitude for her children, and immediately the thought occurred to her: “The noisy little bastards!” That’s what I mean by these thoughts are sometimes vile. Beneath that reaction was this woman’s wounded inner child that became insecure whenever her real children misbehaved. Put all your thoughts on the page so you can work with them. As I journal, I simply put my “reversed” thoughts in parentheses.

If you have trouble journaling or if you start a journal and quit after a few days, investigate your resistance. Know that your unresolved issues are getting in the way (and winning)! When we try to feel gratitude and experience interference, our “failure” is a warning that something needs attention. This is how The Universal Mirror works.

(In my new book, Journey to the God Space, (out soon!) I will demonstrate how to use the shamanic journey process to work through and solve the “change” problems identified by the Gratitude Journal process.

When you start the journaling process, pay attention to the changes that occur, especially within you. Notice how your feelings change. Although the process is often bumpy, it has also been deeply enriching for those who have done it.

How different our world would be if we had the courage and took the time to express our gratitude! How joyful life would be if we could tell people how much we love them and how grateful we are that they are in our lives! As I walk the streets of the city or shop, I watch people to see how many of them seem to be happy. Unfortunately, there aren’t many.

Saying gratitude is polite and pleasant,

enacting gratitude is generous and noble,

but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.

Johannes A. Gaertner

“Only from the heart can you touch the sky.” Jalal ad Din Rumi

[1] Thank You: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Dr. Robert Emmons, (Houghton Mifflin, 2007) p. eleven