Life Lessons: A Hard Life for Kids Who Can’t Connect the Dots

Robert Fulghum wrote a monstrous bestseller called All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten which was published in the 1980s. Fulghum’s book suggests that we learn a lot of simple and important things when we are young, and we should hold on to them. Even in the most complex moments, these simple truths are important.

Of course, children can ignore the basic principles that are taught to them in the normal course of the day. They may not accept them or simply refuse to believe them. Parents and teachers know that repetition is the key, but sometimes it seems like it takes a village to convince kids of the simplest truth.

There is a popular TV commercial in which an attractive young woman chats with an insurance agent on the street while using a mobile app to attend to some business. Even though the agent is using the app right in front of the woman, she “knows” that there is no such app because she heard about it on the internet. Seconds later, the conversation turns to the date of the woman who approaches them on the street. He is a chubby looking bearded man who she insists he is a French model. Where did she meet him? She puts it on the Internet, of course. The French “model” greets her with a terrifyingly pronounced “bonjour” and the audience knows that the man is not a French model. This woman will learn her lesson in the school of hard knocks.

Parents often feel like the insurance agent when trying to educate their children. However, adults know that in many situations children have to learn from experience. But do children have to learn everything from the school of hard knocks? No.

In many cases, children can learn something quickly in an activity they love, where learning is easy, and apply it to other circumstances where learning is difficult. Oh, the power of the metaphor!

For example, children often accept the lessons they learn from sports. In the annals of baseball, there is something called the 10 Commandments of Baseball, a list of baseball principles taught in the minor leagues. Principles like “wear them out,” “never quit,” “respect authority,” and “maintain self-control” are at the heart of these commandments, which were written in 1921 by legendary manager Joe McCarthy. Although most coaches do not know the origin of these principles, they still teach them today. Kids need to be reminded of its application to their lives outside of sports.

A child who studies ballet or participates in a school play will learn the importance of practice, following instructions, proper exercise, eating, sleeping, etc. These are all kinds of seemingly basic commonsense truths, but they take hold when they relate to something the child loves. But the parent, teacher, or coach will need to help the child “connect the dots” to see how the lessons learned in these activities can be applied to other activities as well.