The Main Event: Wall Street vs. Main Street

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is Buck Boxer, your announcer for tonight’s boxing festivities. We have a special treat tonight as world champion Wall Street will defend his championship. The Main Street challenger has been around for four decades, has an outstanding track record, and will give Wall Street a big fight. Joining me in the broadcast booth is former undefeated world champion Carl “The Crusher” Side Street, providing expert analysis.

Buck: How do you see the fight going, Carl?

Carl: Well, Buck, the champion has come off two hard-hitting fights against Greed and Massive Paper. It was the first time in his brilliant career; he was thrown to the canvas, and his three men from the corner: the House of Representatives, the Senate and the President patched him up by allowing him to score TK O’s. He is rested, revitalized; showing no aftereffects, and Main Street could be in trouble.

Buck: What’s your assessment of Main Street?

Carl: Your last eight bits have taken awful beatings; started with heartbreaking losses in the housing market, jobs, and 401Ks, followed by split decision losses in the auto bailout, the bank bailout, and the insurance industry bailout — finally, the two knockouts by raise Credit Card Rates, and Medical Insurance. Throughout their long career, Main Street has continually risen from the canvas and snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. Tonight you will need all your inner strength and it may not be enough.

Buck: Have you read about the controversy surrounding Wall Street manager Greg Greed and his association with insurance giant More Money?

Carl: I read it, but I got most of my information from the Internet. However, I recently heard that the debt was paid off since the last fight, allowing Greed and his associates to earn millions. It is rumored that they trampled many people to get the loan, which pushed Wall Street back to the top.

Buck: Do you think the Main Streets experience will allow him to beat the odds tonight?

Carl: I fought him fifteen years ago, when he was at the top of his game, and I knocked him out in the third round. After the fight, he came to my dressing room, he made sure he was okay and thanked me for a good fight. He is a true gentleman, he wanted a rematch but it never happened. In his heyday, he was unstoppable, had a huge following, and created a new class of people called the middle class. They built a strong economy with their blood, sweat, and tears, and were prosperous for many years. His downfall began when Greed created paper buildings and houses, which became a house of cards. Main Street may lose tonight’s fight, but it will never back down and will rise back to the top.

Buck: So what do you think about the future of Wall Street?

Carl: I was knocked out by Wall Street a few years ago. He never came to check on her; Greed took his entourage and headed to the best nightclub to celebrate his victory. Right now, he is on the way back; In the future, I see him having problems, since most people don’t like or support Greed and his associates. His reign will end and when it does, not many will be sad.

Buck: Thank you. That was an outstanding analysis of the upcoming fight. We now turn our attention to the ring announcer who will introduce tonight’s fighters.

Ring Announcer: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you from multiple main streets across the country wearing the red, white and blue boxer shorts, the Main Street challenger with a record of; 60 knockouts, 30 TKO’s, 15 losses and 10 draws. Let’s hear it on Main Street. In the blue corner with black boxer shorts and coming from a New York City street, the defending world champion Wall Street.

Kind regards, Judowolf