Understanding Grandpa’s Rules

Under the circumstances, and I like to give due credit to the circumstances, I was visiting my grandchildren without the Gracious Parsonage Mistress.

Normally, if there is such a status, my wife travels with me when we visit the grandchildren. However, when she’s with me, I don’t stand a chance. I won’t say that she hogs the grandkids, she does, I just won’t say. As a husband, I know when to speak my mind and when to care about what I say. The inexperienced husband does not know the difference and pays for it.

With the opportunity before me to go alone with the grandchildren, I decided to make the most of it. I never know when this type of situation will repeat itself. When my wife is with me, she always takes her lead, but now I have no one to restrict my visit with her grandchildren. I am an independent grandfather.

What many people may not know are the rules that govern the successful grandparent. Most people don’t know about these rules because the most prominent grandfather is usually the grandmother. I’m not complaining, I’m just explaining. Someone has to explain this and the sooner Grandpa knows and understands these rules, the sooner he can enjoy exploiting the role of Grandpa to her.

The first rule to be understood is simply this: what makes grandchildren happy makes grandparents happy. This highlights the selfless nature of parenthood. He is a wise grandfather, not to say happy, who invests his resources in making his grandchildren happy, whatever the cost. I say invest because there are wonderful dividends to be reaped.

This is perhaps the biggest burden that grandfather has to bear. Everyone knows how difficult it is to make and keep children happy. Besides, during grandpa’s visit it should be a long and happy adventure.

Another rule associated with grandparents is pretty basic. Jelly beans ARE fruit. Anyone with some common sense can see the different colors of the jelly beans and understand that they represent fruit. It’s a grandparent’s dutiful responsibility to have an endless supply of jelly beans on her person at all times. After all, children need their fruit.

Since on the subject of food, another rule has to do with vegetables. Every grandfather knows that vegetables are not all that grandmothers say. And broccoli… is absolutely forbidden when grandpa is at the table. Another important aspect of eating at the table is that you don’t have to clean everything on your plate.

Also, when Grandpa is at the table, the order of dinner changes drastically. For example, dessert should be eaten first because of the danger of overeating and not having enough room for dessert at the end of the meal.

When you go to a restaurant together to eat, there is another rule that is crucial. This is something very dear to my heart and something I want to pass on to my grandchildren. In a nutshell, it is this, a straw has many functions. And the beautiful thing about a straw is that it comes with its own supply of ammunition. There are many wonderful things that can be done with a “loaded straw.”

Another Grandpa rule is that noise is welcome and since Grandpa is hard of hearing, the louder the better. A grandson screaming like a wild banshee is the music of the gods. And the most important part of this music is that all the grandchildren should be screaming at the same time. This idea of ​​taking turns is something only grandmothers come up with.

With children’s health in mind, the next rule is crucial. Jumping on furniture is good exercise, especially when Grandpa hits his head on the ceiling. And because of the large amount of laughter involved in such exercise, it increases your health and longevity. I read somewhere where laughter adds to your life. Whether it is true or not is irrelevant, the fact is that children need to laugh and laugh a lot. Grandmas don’t understand.

So as long as grandpa stays the night, bedtime is simply a goal. This idea of ​​having an exact bedtime is unhealthy, especially when grandpa is visiting. Bedtime should be a tradable commodity, not something that is an exact science. What does science have to do with going to bed at night? Leave science at school where it belongs.

There is one last rule that I need to mention. Grandpa’s rules trump everyone else’s rules… except Grandma’s, which is why Grandpa needs to visit the grandkids only once in a while.

Understanding the rules allows everyone to enjoy time together. Without rules, there would be chaos. With Grandpa’s Rules, Chaos is a wonderful harmony of joy, excitement, and fun. Every grandchild needs a grandparent who understands grandparent’s rules and has the opportunity to play those rules.

There is a rule book that I follow implicitly. That is the Bible. It is the most profitable book I have discovered. “All Scripture is inspired by God, and useful for teaching, for reproving, for correcting, for instructing in righteousness, so that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly prepared for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16- 17).

When you know the rules of life, it becomes a wonderful and exciting adventure.