Five simple acts to rekindle your sex life

Our bedroom times are still amazing, but after years together, sex isn’t as fresh as it once was. Fortunately, for all monogamous couples, there are simple ways to spice up our bedroom shenanigans. The great thing about taking small steps is that you don’t have to make big 180-degree changes; the goal is to get your partner to look at you differently, not to look at you as if you’ve entered the early stages of a midlife crisis.

#1—Stop the clock. How long did sex last the last time you and your partner made love? If it was too short, explore the possibilities of making love last an entire afternoon. One of the first things that happens in long-term relationships is taking some time just for yourself. Send the kids to the rec center in the afternoon. Turn off the telephone, television and radio and lock yourself in your bedroom. Undress each other, taking the time to appreciate the way your partner’s body looks, the shape, the texture. Lie in bed touching each other, but stay away from your partner’s hot spots. Touch the places you never touch. Memorize the feel of the skin behind the knee, on the top of the foot. Let your hands slide over your neck, shoulders, arms, hands. Rub your scalp, feel your hair. Play, play, play and then play some more. Then, when you feel like you have to touch those other spots or die, immediately dive in.

#2—Turn off the soundtrack. My mom always said that actions speak louder than words. I’ll never tell her, but she was right. Let your body be your voice tonight. Instead of saying “Oh yeah,” she tries to look your partner in the eye. Maintain eye contact as long as possible. If you tend to make noise in bed, resist your carnal urge to moan in his ear and instead make him look you in the face. Make him see what he does to you. Communicate through eye contact, facial expressions, biting a lip, scratching your nails on your back. You can get your point across just as well, if not better, without using words.

#3— Play dress up. Dressing up for your lover doesn’t have to be vulgar. If you hate the idea of ​​wearing four-inch stilettos and a feather boa, remember to keep it simple. A blindfold can work magic in the bedroom. Tie one to your partner and keep them guessing what she’s going to do next. Wear a strategically placed garter under her usual skirt and stockings, and give your lover a quick glance when she crosses her legs. A simple costume piece, like furry cat ears on a headband or cowboy hat, can add fun without the hassle of having a full costume. Sexy doesn’t have to mean exaggeration.

#4—Take him outside. Go to your local park, find a semi-secluded spot and act like you’re sixteen again. Fog up car windows. Spread a blanket out on the backyard lawn and get outside. The next time you’re out as a couple, whether it’s a parent-teacher conference, dinner, or a cocktail party, leave your underwear at home. Or, better yet, in your partner’s seat in the car.

#5— Change it. Try a new position tonight, in addition to the two or three tried and true ones you usually do. A great site to find instructions and photos is http://www.sexual-health-resource.org/sex_positions.htm. Try the frog jump or the spontaneous position. Do some research and surprise your lover with a printout of the position you’d like to try tonight. This is sure to set the stage for a wild night out.

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