Have you assigned yourself any personal rights?
It’s easy to get confused and overwhelmed in the kind of fast-paced, ever-changing world we live in. Everyone wants something from us and we tend to expect the same from others. Few people involved in this give-and-take process have bothered to set the kind of safety boundaries that allow them to deal with others in a way that protects everyone involved. These limits are your personal rights and if you have not assigned them to yourself, you should.
If you’ve ever felt intimidated into making decisions you’ve regretted, you’ll appreciate the personal rights I’m about to encourage you to assign to yourself. You can also use them collectively by assigning them to others. That means you will understand and respect these rights in the lives of your family, friends, and co-workers, even if they don’t seem to recognize or use them in your own circumstances. That will make you a better person and one that most people will learn to appreciate.
1. You have the right to ASK for what you want.
One of the hardest things for people is to ask for something. It’s like the old joke about the husband who drove hundreds of miles out of his way just because he refused to listen to his wife and ask someone for directions. Those who learn to ASK others for what they want find a brave new world waiting for them. A world where they receive help or assistance that they probably never knew was available. It’s that simple: If you don’t ASK, you don’t RECEIVE.
2. You have the right to say NO without guilt.
Nobody likes to be a NO person and there are certainly people who love to live negatively by saying NO to almost everything. Most of them feel that saying NO protects them from being taken advantage of or used. They do not recognize the value of moderation in everything they do. There are times when you have to turn down offers, suggestions, and other things that will affect you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. However, don’t say NO just for the sake of it.
If you decide to say NO, mean it. Don’t let anyone dissuade you from his decision. Guilt is the number one weapon used by people who have been rejected and want something from you to try to get it by making you change your mind. If you’ve carefully considered something someone wanted from you and still decided it wasn’t something you wanted to be involved with, you have every right to say NO without feeling guilty. Sometimes the decisions you make have to be cold and hard, without emotional attachment, for your own good. When that is the case, blame has no place in the process.
3. You have the right to make ERRORS.
I remember once being in the business office of someone I was considering as a partner in a small business. He asked me to wait because he was trying to fix some kind of problem. While he was sitting in his office, he confronted his secretary. She had mistakenly deposited a postdated check given to her small business by a customer and she didn’t want the check deposited until the next day. She was an important client and one that required constant caresses and attention.
He knew his secretary well enough to know that she was brilliant, efficient, and a vital part of his small business. From what I observed on her visits to her office, she probably did the work of two or three people for the modest salary of one. Despite her honest mistake, my prospective business partner unceremoniously fired her on the spot. I could not believe it. Knowing everything I had done for his boss and the hours he worked, it was a bad decision for him and a revelation for me.
After observing his behavior, I knew that this guy was not someone I wanted as a partner in anything. I felt he could have easily handled the situation by calling his client and his own bank to make sure the check didn’t go through until the funds were actually available. However, he could have at least tried. Instead, he took the easy way out and threw a valuable employee under the bus. I was sure that he would have done the same to me if he had given him the chance.
We are all going to make mistakes. The key is to try to avoid the ones we do on purpose; bad judgment calls and such. The ones that are not made on purpose only prove that we are human and not perfect. We have the right to make them, forgive ourselves for them and be forgiven by others. We must also extend the same courtesy to those who make mistakes who find us on the receiving end of the possible consequences of such mistakes.
4. You have the right to EXPRESS your FEELINGS, THOUGHTS and OPINIONS.
The politically correct thing to do these days is to ‘keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself’. However, that is not always possible. There are ample occasions when people will ask you for your opinion, advice, suggestions, or thoughts on any of a number of topics. It’s easy to avoid answering by dodging the question or refusing to answer based on your belief that there is no correct answer. However, that kind of answer tends to make you seem indecisive.
No one can force you to answer what may be a controversial question or even one that someone might use to criticize you in the hope that your answer will make you look ridiculous. That choice is up to you and it is a choice you should weigh carefully. If you decide to answer a difficult or controversial question, be prepared to make an argument for it and live with the consequences. If you make a cohesive and intelligent argument, no one can blame you for freeing yourself to express yourself.
5. You have the right to CHANGE your mind.
“But you promised…” is a typical response from someone who suddenly feels abandoned by you because you changed your mind about something. However, a change of heart is the logical response of an intelligent person who may have made a decision that was imposed on them by a deadline or based on incomplete information. Just as a silly example: if you promised to join a gang that was going to rob a bank and changed your mind just before making an illegal withdrawal, who could blame you for making the right and sensible decision? .
6. You have the right to THINK before acting.
People always pressure us to make an immediate decision. That’s what the phone request is all about. Someone calls you and wants you to buy something or sign up for some service that they say is essential to improve your life. Many people find themselves giving out a credit card number over the phone before they realize they are doing it. Some don’t even remember purchasing any item or service that was offered to them when their card bill arrives.
Taking the time to think about a decision you need to make means giving yourself a better chance of making the right decision. It gives you time to consider all the possibilities, research the topic at hand, and decide if it’s something you really want to do. Never let anyone pressure you into making an immediate decision that you may regret for a long time.
7. You have the right to be treated with RESPECT.
You’ve probably heard or read it a thousand times, but just in case you haven’t: In 1937, Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of President Franklin Roosevelt, said in This Is My Story, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” .” It is a quote worth remembering. Everyone deserves a certain level of respect. How many times is up to them. Our actions, words and deeds define us and tend to reflect the level of respect we receive from others.
If you respect yourself and are a positive force in the lives of others, you have a much better chance of being respected by others. However, even if you have low self-esteem issues, you still deserve the respect of others and any lack of respect can be the reason for how you feel about yourself. Assert your right to respect and never allow others to defame or speak ill of you. If you come across the kind of person who loves to yell, snap blame, or have anger issues, let them know they need to find another victim. You will NOT be treated that way. No if-s, an-s or but-s.
8. You have the right to make PERSONAL CHOICES.
No one has the right to question or criticize your personal choices. It is normal and sometimes possibly desirable to seek the opinions or advice of others, even if they are not directly involved in the decision-making process you are facing. People love to give advice, and judging by the high ratings for those talk shows and daytime doctors, they love to get it too. However, in the end, the choices you make should be yours and yours alone because you are the one who has to live with the consequences of your choices.