What is an appropriate level of intimacy before marriage?

Question: “What is an appropriate level of intimacy before marriage?”

Answer: Ephesians 5:3 tells us, “But among you there must not be even an iota of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity…for this is unbecoming of God’s holy people.” Anything that even “hints” at sexual immorality is inappropriate for a Christian. The Bible does not give us a list of what qualifies as a “clue” nor does it tell us what physical activities are approved for a couple to engage in before marriage. However, the fact that the Bible does not specifically address the issue does not mean that God approves of “pre-sexual” activity before marriage. At its core, foreplay is designed to prepare you for sex. So logically, foreplay should be restricted to married couples. Anything that could be considered foreplay should be avoided until marriage.

If there is any doubt about whether an activity is appropriate for an unmarried couple, it should be avoided (Romans 14:23). Any and all sexual and pre-sexual activities should be restricted to married couples. An unmarried couple should avoid any activity that tempts them into sex, gives the appearance of immorality, or could be considered foreplay. Many Christian pastors and counselors strongly advise a couple to go no further than holding hands, hugging, and light kissing before marriage. The more a married couple has to share exclusively with each other, the more special and unique the sexual relationship becomes in that marriage.

Recommended Resource: Why True Love Waits by Josh McDowell

“What does the Bible say about sex before marriage?”

Answer: There is no Hebrew or Greek word used in the Bible that refers precisely to sex before marriage. The Bible undeniably condemns adultery and sexual immorality, but is sex before marriage considered sexually immoral? According to 1 Corinthians 7:2, “yes” is the clear answer: “But since there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman her own husband.” In this verse, Paul declares that marriage is the “cure” for sexual immorality. First Corinthians 7:2 essentially says that because people cannot control themselves and many engage in immoral sex outside of marriage, people should get married. Then they can fulfill their passions in a moral way.

Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes premarital sex in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as sinful also condemn premarital sex as sinful. Sex before marriage is included in the biblical definition of sexual immorality. There are numerous biblical passages that declare sexual relations before marriage to be sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5 :3). ; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual intercourse that God approves (Hebrews 13:4).

Too often we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect: procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other passages in the Bible (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God’s intention for sex includes having children. Therefore, for a couple to have sex before marriage is doubly wrong: they enjoy pleasures that are not meant for them, and they risk creating a human life outside of the family structure that God designed for each child.

While practicality doesn’t determine right from wrong, if the Bible’s message about sex before marriage were heeded, there would be far fewer STDs, far fewer abortions, far fewer single mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents. In their lifes. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, puts proper value on sex, and most importantly, honors God.

Recommended Resource: Why True Love Waits by Josh McDowell